Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
