this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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