i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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