Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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