his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
