this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And then he peed in my hair
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