Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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