nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
