is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
