Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
