Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
