New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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