I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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