You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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