well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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