Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
