we're blogging at a bar
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
