My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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