I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
