OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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