I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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