She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
