I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
