A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
