im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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