I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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