piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
