3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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