Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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