somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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