went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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