I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
