guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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