I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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