having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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