Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
third nipple confirmed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
