Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
