Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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