i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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