i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
