yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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