u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
