lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
