You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Can I color on your dick again?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
