i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
