i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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