Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
