we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
