And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
