Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
