I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
