if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
not ubering you a puppy
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
