making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
