Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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