one might say we're banned from that church
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
