After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
